I'm not at school. Again. I haven't been in over 4 weeks. I'm surprised they haven't called my mother actually. I do wake up at 8.30 every morning and ring them to say I'm ill.

I'm full of lies and deceit! I think I might be having a crisis. or rather I had one because I'm going back tomorrow. I can't handle crowds or everyday small talk. The thought makes my heart nearly explode from anxiousness.

It doesn't help that I'm two months behind on work and all I do at home is read and listen to music. I just want to find a crap flat and earn 200 quid a week and chain smoke! Sigh.

Persistence is key.

I got back from York yesterday. Travelling since 9am, home at 6pm. More yawning. All I seem to do is spend hours on transit these days. Not a wink of sleep. Probably because I drink too much coffee. Bad coffee too. I never thought I'd be able to say "This coffee tastes like poopy shit!" but now I'm very capable.

York was strange. I met an online buddy and intended on going to a lesbian arts festival. Which is crazy enough without other things getting in the way. We didn't go though. Disappointing. We went to the club night and there were about 300 lesbians. 297 of them over 35 years old. It was quite depressing really. If I wasn't so drunk I might've not been smiling the whole night.

It's my aim in life now to NOT end up like some people I saw. A 40 year old single, shirt wearing woman that goes to lesbian events to try and find the love she so desperately wants and craves.

I easily could be like that. I wear shirts sometimes if it's a nice occasion. I might make it to 40. You're more likely to meet someone on a bus than at a big function where everyone is looking for the same things.

At least on a bus there are no expectations or predicted arrangements.

I digress far too much.

I've semi learnt Come Away With Me by miss Norah on guitar. I don't care enough though. I need to start caring! If only it wasn't illegal to import tortoises.