The boobs, the meat and the dominatrix.

It has been a lifetime. Maybe even longer since I last posted. And my reason for posting is very important and will be the last thing I mention.

1. I've successfully managed to complete exams with very good results in terms of the effort I put in. Which was zero. And I did half as good as the majority. I really could've aced them too, I think.

2. I went to my very first music festival alone. It was a folk festival so it's not like I was in any danger of any kind... Except maybe feeling too warm inside.

3. I am once again a vegetarian. And by this time Wednesday will actually be a proper one. I'm having my last fish dinner on Tuesday. I tried mock duck in a can. It was from the Chinese supermarket. I'm never buying anything from a can from there again.

I really have not done anything in 4 and some months. I haven't had a single conversation with anyone under the age of 40 in a whole month! I've kept to myself and enjoyed CSI and Buffy marathons. It really was emotional when Tara died...

Also having boob issues. Or gender issues... I'm confused on that one!

I'm preparing my body to become a scientist. That should be interesting. Gotta pass the fitness tests though! And I went to be 55% fit! I think I'm about at 23% right now.

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SO. My reason for blogging is CSI related. It could also be fetish related. I have been reading some saucy BDSM stories lately... But the nice kind. Or is it nice...? Anyway. Lady Heather. She is the reason I'm blogging. Guest starred on CSI I think three times so far. I'm only on season 6. But I do know that Jorja Fox has left (www.jorjafox.org - The music is great). Which is the worst crime ever... Though her Dusty Springfield gig looks great.

Lady Heather and Grissom have, in my opinion, had the best relationship on the whole show. Even more so than Gil and Sara! Her character is the one of very few that I've been completely intrigued and fascinated by. Not only is she phenomenally beautiful and strong, but the intelligence mystery is er, wow.

After watching 6 season in a very short space of time I'm quite shocked to see how the violence and grim factor has dramatically changed in just a few years. The episodes are slowly become more personal and touching. And traumatising. Jorja Fox said the stories are based on REAL stories! Oh, my...

The episode "Pirates of the Third Reich" was pure brilliance! Acting, writing, directing. The whole she-bang! But the last scene... It might've bought a few tears to my eyes. Gil telling Lady Heather to stop. Transports you back to her earlier performances and the safety word and their relationship and how fragile she actually is. It was really wonderfully written. GENIUS!

It appears she'll be in season 7 too... I will most definitely look forward to more of this exquisite woman! Oh, and it says season 9 too! Excellent!



Tea parties AND gorgeous women? Sign me up!

Sleepsleepsleep

It's official. I have never been this exhausted in my entire life.

Is it sane to skip the last week of school and to instead sleep for a week and go into my final exam refreshed instead of pissed off? Yes, that's what I think!

I see Alanis in 11 days. I'm looking forward to museums and art galleries and Hyde Park. I need to strategise once packing commences. Specifically with what book to take with me. something that is the right length so it's not too heavy, but big enough so that I won't finish it too soon.

Canadian aunt has been and gone. She's very lovely. Took me to Starbucks and bought me an eco-friendly water bottle. The Canadian cackle really IS a thing!

Bought a new Jackson 5 record. It will be the last thing I buy for a looooooooooong time. This week will be major sort out of possessions. Everything must go!

Hasta luago!

I could never be a musician because...

...of three simple things!

1. You have to have an amazing voice.

2. If you don't have an amazing voice, you have to be able to play very amazing music.

3. If you can do neither of those things, you just have to be a very cool person.

HOWEVER! If I learnt the violin or trumpet then I wouldn't need to sing or be all cool (though we all know that trumpet players are cool).

I'll think I'll go with the violin.



Off to get French bangs!

Have a good week :)

Drew Barrymore and dictionaries.

I just watched 50 First Dates for the 1.5th time. I couldn't quite remember the first time I saw it except for knowing that it was adorable and Adam Sandler is the strangest actor on the planet. How is it possible to love and hate someone so much in one moment?

So I watched it all and my heart completely swooned and tears sprung from eyes at one particular sentence only. "Oh, my goodness!" when she hugs her daughter. And Henry says morning and gives her a kiss. I could have died right then!

I also could've died today when the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in this silly town mumbled something and goofily smiled whilst holding the door open for me. Plus an awkward elevator ride... Simply because I would have oogled the heck out of her but my sight was set on my feet! All I remember are her bright green smoky eyes and shiny brown hair. She was wearing leather...

And then I walk into my mothers office to meet her for lunch and the butchiest woman is leaning over her desk, heh. That was funny.

Speaking of butch lesbians. I saw her. I saw the lesbian that would go next to the words "stereotypical lesbian" and/or "butch". White shorts about 3 sizes to big, baggy white t-shirt, braless, white shoes, white socks, leg tattoos, skinned head, and the best part of all; she was walking a doberman! Those dogs scare the heck out of me. Luckily I didn't make eye contact with the thing because I was so entranced by what I was seeing.

New food of the day: Caesar salad dressing. Yum.

I think I got more gay today.

I can't wait for Wimbledon! Lady tennis players! Briefs and skorts! Swooooon.

I love Janeane Garofalo.

And Feist.

Science!

I've been thinking...

How much more can the world ACTUALLY advance?

We've got steam, electricity, fission, flight, solar power; but surely the only thing we can now do is improve the things that we currently have, right?

I think in terms of science we have many, many things to look forward to, but after watching The Fifth Element, I Robot and a few other futuristic films, their is nothing spectacular going on. Except maybe the level of security increasing a bit too much. Biiiiiiiiig brother! I don't think I can handle not having privacy...

One thing I am excited about are the many more deep sea fish their are to be discovered! Bioluminescence and photophores are my new favourite things in the world.

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I've applied to go to Iceland. The country. Apparently it's the most developed country in the world! And is the place to be once global warming is in full force.

My crazy grandmother thinks I'm crazy. She gave me "the face". Which is simply her scrunching up her face and saying "Noooooo. Really?" over and over and over. She also gave me that face when I said that I liked Buffy The Vampire Slayer and other science fiction shows and when stating "No, I have never worn lipstick".

The Canadian aunts are coming over in a couple of weeks. It's always daunting. Will my accent stay intact?! I bloody hope so. Being English in other countries (maybe not France or eastern Europe) will get me far in life! I can be the token English girl that says "Bloody hell!" at key moments. I'd like that.

Bonne nuit!

Episode 2!

PJ Harvey special!

Speaking of podcasts! I had 23 seconds of fame on The Planet podcast! I didn't realise it'd be put on the chart. I should've talked about something other that lemons...

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I can't believe it's nearly May already! Time is going by so fast I would have thought my fingernails would be slightly grown by now...

So in the last few weeks I have successfully started learning French! I'm know the alphabet. In French and everything! Pronouns are very tricky. I remember learning French 4 years ago and it seemed a doddle then. But now it's crazy! I'm only on present tenses and I feel like it's too much! But persistence eh.

I've also learnt basic phrases such as; Allons-y, miam miam, je vais garber etc, etc. My favourite being ZUT! Which means BLAST! Because swearing is not the way! I've had to contain myself from swearing like a monster this week. Lots of friendly arguments that weren't so friendly. Let's just say I am the most patient, calm person in the world and I was shaking with frustration and very casually left the scene with a wave of my hand!

In other news: I finally watched Desert Hearts. It was cute and all. I can see myself with an older woman. Definitely not younger. I recently got set up with someone only a year younger than me and once she suggested spin the bottle with three people in the room I was out of there. I haven't played that since I was 13!

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I saw Bjork! No pictures though. She's strictly against that. She was eating spoonfuls of honey on stage. And she's so very tiny! I was front and centre! No exaggeration! I was exactly front and centre. Which I won't be doing again... I felt like dancing and being crazy, but the bouncer sat inches from you is a little intimidating...

i think the next podcast might be a Bjork special., but we'll see. Amelia is supposedly thinking of a male to cover, but she's not very good at this computer, podcasting, organisation stuff!

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Final thing. I've applied to this website, job searching webby type thing and this time next year I could be a farmer in Iceland! How exciting! I hear they don't have much daylight and/or sun. I need to research. But it sounds very promising and just the place for me! I could start drafting my first novel!

Until next time.

Au revoir!

SO. Things are great!

My friend Amelia and I have started a new podcast. Supposedly about music, but the introduction show wasn't so much about that. Ramblings, stories, digressions etc etc.

So here it is! Episode 1!

God bless useless Christian holidays! Tomorrow is the beginning of around 18 days of naaafin.

Though I am getting particularly stressed out with the jigsaw puzzle I'm doing. It's been 5 weeks and I've gotten nowhere! I should have gone with my gut instinct. Never the train station! NEVER!

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Alas, The L Word is over. What a disappointing finale. There should have been a huuuuge cliff hanger. But it was nice that there were lots of little ones with each character.

I've been re-watching season 2 and everyone really has changed a lot. I'm not sure whether that's a fault of the writers or the reality that some people change drastically in short periods of time sometimes! The real question being: Do they get credit or not? We are still entertained. I think going from experience I might have to go with people changing! Though Helena going from a snobby, British, rich chick too a Alice loving, British, rich chick to a cool, poor, British chick is all a bit complex!

Though I somehow went from a sarcastically violent, conforming funny person too a charming, witty human being. It does happen! How I wish I was deliriously witty.. I think I have some charm, maybe. "The geek charm" they call it. Turns out more and more people enjoy the stammering nerd than the cocky playa. Fantastic for me! Holla!

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Since last blog I have successfully had a couple of weeks of dating for the first time in my existence and successfully realised that she isn't my type. How unfortunate! My mother says "Its the chase, isn't it! Oh, yes, I know it is!" With all things we learn lessons. And the lessons I have learned are:

1. Though they say "opposites attract", someone who doesn't read, listen to music or watch movies when that is all I ever do all day everyday, might not necessarily have the same things in common.

2. The aquarium for a first date is excellent. If they're not interested, then run for the hills! Or alternately, go for ice cream instead.

3. Vegans are no fun. Though my diet changed drastically and I lost about a zillion pounds. All I want to eat was 4 pounds of cheese. I like to eat out and I will not sit across from someone who eats only salad and nibbles on cashews. A real woman can eat like a man!

4. If you're lonely and go for the first lesbian you see, it's not a good thing. You have no gaydar. You don't like broadcasting your sexuality! Walking down the street was a whole new experience. Plus you lean towards more girly girls. Dear mum says "Oh, no. Does this mean you're the "butch"...?" I'll have you know that I bought a frilly shirt last week! AND I'm reading The Times Travellers Wife. If that aint girly I don't know what is.

Those are the key things. We're now friends and it's going terrible! I told her My like for her fizzled and it was all fine. but now I'm always such a grumpy cow whenever I see her! We still have no common interests, she still eats silly things. I feel very mean for always frowning! Oh dear, oh dear. I think she's setting me up with her friend though who plays the piano and banjo and reads poetry for pleasure. Swoooon.

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In other news, in short: I have a very healthy obsession with Joan of Arc. My love for science is evermore increasing. I've had about 15 ______ in about 4 days. And there's a Grindhouse marathon at the movies! Planet Terror and Death proof back-to-back! Deliciouuuus!

Bjork in 19 days! Cambridge Folk tickets come out next month: Martha Wainwright! Fantastic! And KD Lang... S'all gay!

Be gay!

You know those people that wear hiking boots all year round? I've become one! It's been my dream for a long time. I got the boots, the backpack, the jacket. Now I just need a fleece. How GAY!

Aren't fleeces supposed to be sterotypically gay? That's what I hear. Along with home depot. Whereas that shouldn't be a stereotype at all because this is the 21st Century and women can surely put together a chest of drawers if they want too.

Melissa Ethridge? She's a thing of the past now! S'all about T+S and anything Leisha Hailey related.

Gaygaygaygaygay.

I realised where I recognise the gay guy I always see around, He's only the same man who was stood right in front of me at the Pink concert. Obstructing my view will all his flamboyancy and what have you! That was last year. I'm suprised I still remember..

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In other news, my diet is great lately. Psillium husks, rice water, SALAD. Where have I gone! I feel wonderful. I'm going to go swimming tomorrow for the first time in years. In a bathing suit! For the first time in a decade, haha. Oh, boooy. This'll be interesting.


I spent all of my Thursday figuring out how to record and publish a blog. And I was successful! I now feel like the biggest computer genius ever. So next week will be the start of a new era!

Onwards and up!

The L Word is getting GOOD. Helena is the new beau.

A girl talked to me! And it was awkward and wonderful. She's so very cute.

I'm losing weight, but eating more than ever. Might I have worms? Ick! In my belly! Worms! It can't be that... I've been walking at least 13000 steps a day :)

I'm reading like a BOOK DEMON! Except I keep carrying them in my messenger bag and then getting more from the library and my shoulder is bruised!

I'm going out for strawberry dykeuiri's on Wednesday. Big old birthday. I got a ginormous check in the post and it's frightening me. I'm not the kind of person who is money hungry! So maybe the money will go towards my half decade gap year or I'll keep it untouched for years and put a down payment on a nice house. We shall see! I don't wanna look at it though! Eugh! Money!

Buffycast will be all go by Tuesday I believe. Introduction podcast undergoing on Monday!

'Tis a new year and the birds are singing!

My resolutions have already been forgotten. And in fact were never picked up. Though I do feel healthier and I've done 200 more sit ups than last year. I got to take it slow or I might pull a muscle! So in the year 2023 I might just use the cross trainer about twice a week. and 20 years after that... Well I might be dead! Yee-haw.

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L Word season is upon us finally. I haven't decided whether I'm happy about that or not. It has gotten so very strange. The first episode I could have not ever watched it ever again(!). But that would be a lie. Episode 2 was certainly full of boobs. The nipple count I think is at its very highest!

The only thing that really bothers me is my new love for Tina... TINA! I find her flipping hilarious this season. And the whole Bette/Tina storyline is the only interesting thing really. Besides Max and the gay interpreter. What can come from a former female turned man without the op and a very gay, handsome man? We shall see. And I shall look forward to it.

Speaking of hot females. Jennifer Beals looks so great. If I look anything like that when I'm 25 I will thank the heavens. And she is 44!

The only reason I'm watching it is for the Kelka pod casts. Elka is a geek. One day I'll have a KC to take the piss out of me. And how sweet it shall be. I like head torches. And I have a very large craving for a giant glass of cola. And my mother gave me the "pregnancy eyebrow". Grim.

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Not much has been going on. Exams are in 2 weeks and I am extremely not prepared, but I wasn't last year and I won't be next year! I am in full time education (barely) simply for the money. Whoever thought up the idea of giving teenagers 30 pounds a week to attend school was very silly. What a waste of the governments money. That could be helping stop world hunger! Tutut. All the money I (don't) earn from school goes into my savings and will be my gap year fund which will be volunteering somewhere. Though my gap year will hopefully be a gap half decade.

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I've made two very important decisions this year. One includes two which is meet new people and a nice girl. So far so bad. Though I do have my eye on a very, very, very cute person who works in a health food store and the arts centre. Both of which are the only places I ever visit when in the city! Coincidence... Yes, it seems so. I haven't made eye contact yet, but I will. And then I'll say hello and then I'll strike up a conversation. But what can you say in a health food store that doesn't make it seem like there's something wrong with you? Hm.

My second important decision is to start a Buffy podcast. Simply so I can have an excuse to watch Buffy and ultimately bond with a companion! Hopefully there's still some Buffy fans out there. No doubts. There must beee! So I'll approach my co-host tomorrow and see if she's interested and then I shall wait 2 weeks for my birthday and the box set. Then lets get cracking!

I'll call it "The Bronze"! Or cemetery.. or library. Hm. I think it has to be a joint decisions!

Until then!